Keep taking that hill!

You guessed it…another re-post from my blog.

I have to admit it:  there are times where I have been more comfortable in life than I am now.  If I had to take a gut-level honesty check, I’d have to say that times like these make me nervous and have me thinking about my next step.

For those who’ve read the other posts, such as The Job Search (which you can read here), you’ll know that I have been on the job hunt for a little over a month now.  Fortunately, we had enough in savings to keep us going until I found something.  Hubs has had a tad bit of side income come in to help us along.  However, I am about to start the nail-biting phase.

I’ve had a couple of Debbie Downer days where I didn’t feel worth it, didn’t feel like “getting up and showing up”, didn’t feel like it was going to go anywhere, and regretting my decisions of the past couple of months.  Yes, it’s been tough.  I don’t like being without income.  I don’t like being without the security of a job, though Hubs getting laid off as the primary bread winner of our home doesn’t really make my job that important.

I’ve honestly been searching every single day for work.

I’ve sent out resume’s.

I’ve gone on interviews.

I’ve waited for promised phone calls that never came.

I’ve applied through temporary agencies that might have work.

I’ve tried to stay within my field for these jobs, which is actually pretty broad, so I’ve been able to apply for quite a few jobs, but I’m thinking I might have to step outside my comfort zone even further in order to obtain legitimate employment.  As I said, this isn’t a comfortable place for me.  I feel fear creeping up, I have worry beginning to work on my muscles, I have tension knotting up in my stomach.

When those days sink down on me that make me feel like all of this is hopeless, I get up and do something, anything, to get my mind off the negative.  I have thoroughly scoured my resume’ and improved it where I could, I’ve been baking and cooking when I can, I’ve been researching ways to help Beanster improve with his sight words and reading skills, I’ve been planting seeds and taking care of the plants I have (especially the ones that produce more than flowers), and I’ve been searching relentlessly for a job.  Today might be one of those days, so I’m going to:

  • revisit my resume’ (again)
  • keep searching for jobs
  • do some yoga to unlock these tension knots
  • work outside in the sun
  • take my vitamins
  • make sure my work clothes are ready for interviews
  • keep a positive mental attitude
  • fight down the negative thoughts when they come barging in
  • keep track of our finances so there is absolutely no guesswork
  • find ways to help Beanster with his reading skills
  • make some homemade cookies for Beanster

Yes, every day hasn’t been great, but as they say, there’s something good in every day.  You just have to look for it.  Some days it’s easier to find than others, but it’s out there.  Here are a few of mine:

  1. the sun is shining and it’s not freezing cold outside
  2. with our reduced food budget, I’ve actually lost some of that stubborn weight!
  3. I have more time to spend with Beanster and Hubs
  4. I have more time to plan out our future (for when I do have a job)
  5. I can be creative with what we can do for side income
  6. I can finally write that book I’ve been thinking about

So, to all of you who are in a spot like this, keep taking that hill, keep moving forward, keep yourself thinking positively!


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