No apologies.


Just to be up-front with everyone…this post is going to be a little spiritual. No apologies. That’s my disclaimer. So…

This year has honestly had to be nearly the worst year of my life. If you don’t count the year my father died, this IS the worst year of my life. 8th grade was a great year compared to this one and it was a TERRIBLE year! Ask my mom. Anywho, I know I’ve been really chipper on my blog, but life has really been kicking me in the teeth. Actually, my whole family.

We’ve had more financial despair this year than ever. We’ve had to live off of family a LOT. We already live with family, but we’ve had to borrow money just to buy groceries, diapers, and fuel (none of which are cheap). We’ve not bought ourselves new clothes unless we had underwear that had worn through or we found something for under $5 at the store. We’ve eaten a lot of toast and pasta this year. Milk is a splurge, but we do it anyhow. We’ve had more things break down on our cars than I care to count. We’ve had our account overdraft more than is embarrassing. Our marriage was on the verge of going down the tubes. Our two-year-old turned into a two-year-old. We accrued an emergency room bill and other medical expenses.

2012 has really been a tough year. We’ve been depressed, angry at life, hopeless; we’ve given up. It’s been very hard to walk around with a smile on my face sometimes, especially at church. Actually, I’ve fallen apart several times at church in front of my friends.

Well, all of that is over! From this day forward, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. We will no longer accept defeat like it is our friend. We will no longer walk hand-in-hand with poverty and lack. We will no longer speak words of discouragement and disdain. We will no longer believe that our lives are destined for doom. We will no longer think that our marriage will fall apart.

We will live in peace with each other. We will raise our child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We will serve where we have been planted. We will have wisdom with our finances when we start getting a paycheck again. We will live in health and vitality. We will have vehicles that run and get us to work and keep us safe. We will be able to buy groceries to feed our little family. We will be able pay back our relatives what we have had to borrow from them AND we will be able to bless the Kingdom of God. We will live in blessing. We will live in faith. We will live in love and peace.

I do not apologize for what I have said and I am believing for a major turn-around this year, through God. I am not saying in any way that life is going to be perfect or that we will win the lottery. I am saying, however, that things are going to change. There’s no sense continuing to speak what I’ve been speaking, because it hasn’t gotten us anywhere. I will speak positively and in faith.

For those readers who are facing tough times, I am praying for you, also. I know that this country is not where it used to be. I am fully aware that the tax cuts and tax increases are all on the table and I don’t claim to know which way the wind will blow. I am not ignorant of the fact that things are pretty darn bad in this country nowadays. I do, however, believe in Jehovah Jireh, the Lord my Provider. I do believe in Jehovah Rapha, the Lord my Healer. I refuse to live with a foot in both worlds. You are all in my prayers.

Peace and love. Have a great evening, everyone!

when we get overwhelmed


2 thoughts on “No apologies.

  1. You are not alone. Maybe we haven’t all gone through these things all in the same year but we’ve gone through them in bits and pieces and if we haven’t yet, we will. I, too, know that God is faithful and He WILL provide. Not in our perfect timing but in His.

  2. This is a very cool post. I’ve been getting into the same place, making myself read the Bible more lately and faith has been building up (since the last few times I wrote you). I agree with everything you’ve said, that we have to decide to believe God/Jesus instead of our circumstances. It dawned on me recently why we have financial problems. Neither one of us tithe! Honestly because we feel we don’t have enough money already, and I’m always telling myself I’ll do it next time I get money and I never do! Tithing is hard when you barely have anything but it’s a must for a Christian to prosper. How could we be so stupid? Anyway, I’m praying for you guys. I got both of your cards, THANKS so much. I’m sending yours late but it will get there!

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